Rebuke Me Not in Your Anger
Psalm 38
What do you do when you have messed up so badly that your life is falling apart and you know that it is all your fault? You probably cry out to God for help, but what would that prayer even look like?
It would look like Psalm 38.
Though this song of David does not come with a subtitle linking it to a specific situation, the song could easily fit into the aftermath of his sin with Bathsheba. The prophet Nathan spoke the judgment of God upon David: “the sword shall never depart from your house” (2 Samuel 12.10). Not only did the child die, but David also spent the rest of his life in turmoil within his own family, his own children taking advantage of his weakened state.
We don’t know if this is the setting for Psalm 38, but it certainly fits. In this song, David is painfully aware of his sinfulness. In 22 verses, he references his sin six different times, using words like sin (3), iniquity (4), and foolishness (5). He describes the depth of pain that his sin has brought upon his life with powerful phrases like “my wounds stink and fester” (5), “a heavy burden” (4), “feeble and crushed” (8), “tumult of heart” (8), “light of my eyes…has gone from me” (10), and “my pain is ever before me” (17). These are the words of a man who is crushed by his own sin.
He has messed up his life, and he knows it is all his fault.
And the vultures are gathering.
It’s bad enough to be broken hearted over his sin, but his friends have abandoned him (11). His enemies smell blood in the water. They lay their snares and seek his life (12), and they cannot wait to throw a party when David falls away for good (16). His foes are vigorous and mighty and filled with hate (19).
But this prayer is more than a lament. David is not just crying out in pain. He is crying out to the One who is causing his pain. David is not just dealing with the consequences of his foolishness. The Lord’s arrows have sunk into him, and His hand has come down on the sinner (2). He has heard the word of judgment, and he knows God is angry with him. This is why he cries out to the Lord, “rebuke me not in Your anger, nor discipline me in Your wrath” (1). David knows he deserves the just wrath of God, but he cries out for mercy. All of his longing is before the Lord (9) as he waits upon the Lord (15). Lord, please don’t forsake me (21). Lord, hurry up and help me (22).
A man crushed under the weight of his own sin crying out to the Lord for mercy. Perhaps you can relate?
I find it interesting that the steadfast love of the Lord is not invoked in this song, nor is any mention of God’s mercy or faithfulness. In fact, this song is surprisingly void of any defining characteristics of the Lord. For instance, compare the previous psalm where David describes the Lord as laughing at the wicked, upholding the righteous, and loving justice. Most psalms are filled with descriptions of God’s righteousness, steadfast love, faithfulness. The Lord is a refuge, a strong tower, a shield, a rock. In most of David’s psalms, he can’t use enough words to describe the beauty and greatness of God.
But in this prayer, there is only one: my salvation (22).
David is so broken by his sin, so aware of the mess he has made of his life, so aware of God’s discipline and judgment, that all he can mumble at the end of his prayer is this: “Lord, please be my salvation.”
We need songs of thanksgiving and praise. We need songs of victory and songs that exalt the Good Shepherd. But we also need psalms like this, psalms to help us pray when we are so low, so broken, so undeserving that all we can manage to get out is this: I am sorry for my sin, please make haste to help me.
O Lord, my salvation.